


Secret Santa

by The_Snarkivist



Category: Torchwood
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gift Giving, Ianto Jones & Toshiko Sato Friendship, Ianto Jones-Centric, M/M, POV Ianto Jones, Romantic Fluff, Sort of negative towards Gwen, holiday fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:01:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27850502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Snarkivist/pseuds/The_Snarkivist
Summary: Jack entered the boardroom holding a small fishbowl in his hands.  It was empty except for several pieces of white paper. He had a grin on his face that could only mean one thing: he had an idea for a team building idea.Ianto reflected on how Jack had had the same maniacal look on his face when he tried to convince them all to do a pumpkin carving contest. It was concerning because they were all busy and Jack's schemes just added to the workload. But it was also deeply adorable, and Ianto didn't have it in him to discourage Jack's puppy-like enthusiasm.************The Torchwood Team does a Secret Santa gift exchange
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Owen Harper/Toshiko Sato
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	Secret Santa

**Author's Note:**

> A HUGE thanks to st_mick for the excellent beta of this!!! You made it so much better! 
> 
> Also, willowmellontree's awesome fics about Jack's ideas for Torchwood team building partially inspired this fic (along with a co-worker trying to talk my department into a virtual Secret Santa thing).

Jack entered the boardroom holding a small fishbowl in his hands. It was empty except for several pieces of white paper. He had a grin on his face that could only mean one thing: he had an idea for a team building idea. 

Ianto reflected on how Jack had had the same maniacal look on his face when he tried to convince them all to do a pumpkin carving contest. It was concerning because they were all busy and Jack's schemes just added to the workload. But it was also deeply adorable, and Ianto didn't have it in him to discourage Jack's puppy-like enthusiasm. 

"I've asked you to come to the boardroom today to brief you on a very important and very dangerous mission!" Any attempt at misdirecting the team was belied by the goofy grin Jack wore and the way he could barely contain his laughter. 

"Oh no! Is it serious?" Gwen asked.

"Well," Ianto thought, "at least one of us is fooled."

Tosh had a look of "whatever it is, I hope it isn't too embarrassing like the time he suggested the Torchwood Olympics, where we all had to compete in ridiculous contests like Weevil catching and Rift retrieval races." 

Ianto reflected that that scheme had been more about getting their stats up to get UNIT to stop asking but the rest of the team didn't need to know that. 

Owen just looked irritated.

"Oh very serious!" Jack responded to Gwen with fake solemnity. "It's called 'Operation Secret Santa!" Jack's blue eyes twinkled with mirth and self-satisfaction at his idea. 

"Oh God," Owen grumped as he rolled his eyes.

"Oh that's lovely, Jack. What a fun team building activity." Tosh said in a tone that made Ianto think she'd missed her calling as a primary school teacher.

"This is great!" Gwen enthused. "We did this at the station. I'm really great at giving gifts because I am so empathic and grounded in normal life."

Ianto barely suppressed an eyeroll.

"And you, Yan? What do you think?" Jack was looking at Ianto like he was a nerdy teenage boy and he had just asked Ianto to the prom. 

Ianto smiled at Jack, because how could you not? "I think it is a fine idea. Why don't you tell us how it works." 

Jack grinned and looked like he had just won the lottery.

"Alright, in this bowl are all of our names. You pick one slip of paper and that's who you are getting gifts for. Then you will need to get three gifts: two small ones and a larger final gift. The small gifts shouldn't be expensive and the large one shouldn't cost more than ten pounds. Starting in the week before we close in December you have to secretly put your gift on the person's desk without them seeing. The Wednesday of that week is when you leave the second gift. And no peeking on the CCTV footage, guessing your Secret Santa's identity is half the fun. Then on the 23rd, the last day before we close for the Holidays, you deliver the larger present and we'll have a holiday lunch and everyone has to guess who their Santa was!" 

"And if you guess wrong do you have to give the presents back?" 

"No Owen. That wouldn't be any fun. Ok, who wants to pick first?"

"Oh me, me!" Gwen wriggled with excitement. 

Jack held out the fish bowl to her and she grabbed a piece of paper. Opening and reading the name on the paper her face fell a little bit. So she hadn't picked Jack then. 

Tosh chose next and her eyes lit up as she read the name. She must have gotten Owen. 

Owen picked next. He read the name and groaned. That could mean he picked literally anyone. But Ianto guessed Jack. There was something in the groan that suggested irritation that he couldn't use the gifts to prank the person. Owen hid it but he really didn't want to get fired *again*.

Jack held the bowl out to Ianto and wiggled his eyebrows. Only Jack would try to make picking a Secret Santa name dirty. 

Ianto opened the slip which read "Tosh". He smiled with satisfaction. He had already assembled most of her present a few months ago. 

Jack pulled out the remaining slip and read. He grinned. It could be anyone really. But he didn't have a devilish look on his face so that probably meant not Ianto. He sighed in relief that he didn't need to worry about getting awkward gifts like lube or sex toys. 

******************

**First Gift Day**

Ianto woke alone in Jack's bed. No doubt Jack had been up for hours decorating the Hub. The first day of the holiday season was Jack's favourite (well, favourite after the day in mid-October when they agreed it was ok to put up Halloween decorations.). 

After showering and getting dressed, Ianto climbed the ladder up to Jack's office to investigate what decorations Jack had put up. 

As usual, Jack was aggressively inclusive in his holiday decorations. He had fitted the Hub with decorations celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Solstice, Zarathosht Diso, Pancha Ganapati, Bodhi Day, Festivus (Ianto had not been able to convince Jack that this was just from a television show and not a real thing) and several observances from other planets like Life Day, and many Ianto did not recognize. 

Ianto discreetly deposited his gift for Tosh on her desk and went to make the coffee. 

"Happy first day of the winter holiday season!"

Ianto felt Jack's warm hands circle around his waist joined by Jack's body heat at his back. He sighed happily as Jack kissed his neck.

"You've gone all out with the decorations this year, Jack." Ianto said as he turned around in Jack's arms only to burst into laughter at the ridiculous hat made of a series of concentric triangles Jack was wearing. 

"What?" Jack asked with confusion. "You don't like my Silurian harvest festival hat? It's not nice to laugh at other people's cultures, Ianto!" 

"Alright Jack. It's just it looks very dignified on a Silurian but you have to admit it's a bit silly on you." 

Jack laughed. "Well, I guess that's true."

"But you do also look a bit sexy too. It's like, sexy-silly." 

Jack beamed and leaned in to kiss Ianto. 

***************

As Ianto made his rounds to deliver the coffees Tosh was opening her present. 

"Oh!" She gasped as she neatly opened the brightly coloured paper. "It's beautiful!" 

Ianto had given her a small notebook with a pencil attached that was on a long necklace. The outer covers of the notebook were made of glimmering abalone. 

"Oh! And it's graph paper inside! Oh this is perfect, I am always having design ideas when I don't have my notebook on me! What a thoughtful gift!" 

She looked directly at Ianto when she said it. So much for any mystery. But he felt chuffed to be appreciated. 

Later in the morning, when Gwen showed up followed by Owen, Ianto went around with the second round of coffees. 

Gwen was tearing into the paper of her gift. “Oh my goodness! Ha!!! It’s so perfect!! I love it!!” She said holding up a pot holder that read: “I Still Don’t Understand What a Wine Stopper is For”. “Oh Yani, did you open your gift yet? You’re going to laugh!” 

Ianto - who for the record hated the nickname that Gwen had forced upon him - schooled his face and smiled as he handed Gwen her coffee. “Oh I hadn’t had a chance yet. Let’s see!” 

He went to his desk and picked up the package that was suspiciously in the shape of a pot holder. He carefully and fastidiously unpicked the tape and slid the object out of the paper. It was indeed a pot holder which read: “I Only Drink Wine On Days That End In Y”. 

Well, all things considered, Owen would have just given him packets of tea and figured out a way to make that mean; Jack’s presents would be NSFW, so really having Gwen as his Secret Santa wasn’t the worst thing that could happen.

“Oh, ha ha, how clever.” He tried - and mostly succeeded - to put enthusiasm into his voice. At least he had long since mastered the art of the interior eye roll. 

“So funny! Are you my Secret Santa?” Gwen giggled. 

“I’ll never tell.” Ianto said. Tosh had Owen, so Jack must have drawn Gwen. Owen wouldn’t know Gwen well enough to get such a suitable gift. 

He could see Jack grinning from the catwalk as he stood next to a large tree with a face on it. Ianto was sure if this was a Pagan holiday decoration or something from an alien festivity. 

He wandered over to the Medbay to deliver the coffee to Owen. 

“Where’s my scalpel set! Why do all my tools go missing all the time?” Owen was loudly complaining. 

Tosh stood at the top of the stairs as if she was trying to think of a way to break into Owen’s grumpy monologue. But Ianto also saw inspiration strike and she opened up her new little notebook and began sketching a design for something.

“Owen, have you opened your gift yet?” Ianto said as he walked down the stairs with Owen’s mug. 

“Gift? Oh right that stupid unknown Santa thing. Right, where’s the gift? So does that mean you’re my Secret Santa, Tea Boy?” 

Ianto ignored the comment and handed Owen his coffee. 

Owen had found the small package and ripped it open. Out of the corner of his eye Ianto could see how nervous Tosh was. 

“Oh! Oh! That’s actually quite nice!” 

Tosh had gotten him several pins of his favourite Brit Pop bands to add to the pins he already had on his lab coat. 

Owen looked up at Tosh as he pinned the pins on his coat. He gave her a wink and she blushed and ran away. 

It was as the team settled around the couch in the lounge for lunch that Jack’s Secret Santa finally delivered his present. 

“Oh what’s this?” Jack said with more excitement than the item in a Torchwood evidence bag really warranted. “Oh I love gifts!!” 

Jack opened the bag and pulled out… Weevil spray. 

“Oh my goodness!! This is great!! I needed more of this! I really lucked out with my Secret Santa!” 

Ianto wanted to hug and kiss Jack right there. To show so much kindness to what was clearly an afterthought gift (stolen from the Torchwood supply cabinet, no less) was so classic Jack. 

Later that night in bed, Jack said - in between kisses to Ianto’s collarbone. “Really, wine merch? I mean, she couldn’t have gone with coffee? I would have thought that would be more obvious.”

Ianto laughed as he ran his hands up and down Jack’s back, loving the way Jack’s bare skin felt on his fingertips. “Well, at least you know that you hit the jackpot with your gift. I take it that will be the theme for your presents?” 

“You know it! I do respect Gwen’s work ethic and empathy, but the girl’s a bit basic.” 

“Don’t be mean Jack.” Ianto said as he flexed his fingers to scratch across Jack’s back. He was rewarded with a groan of pleasure and Jack flipping them over so Ianto was on top. 

“If I’m meaner will you have to punish me?” 

“Maybe. But you know, at least she bought me a gift, instead of raiding the supply cabinet.” 

Jack cackled. “Now who’s being mean, I’m definitely going to punish you for that!” 

********************* 

**Second Gift Day**

It took them awhile to get out of bed on the Second Gift Day - Jack had put a stop to Ianto’s first two attempts by explaining that the holidays made him horny and who knew what the day would bring so they should deal with that now. Jack sprang up the ladder to deposit his second gift whilst Ianto showered. 

As Ianto climbed up the bunker’s ladder he wondered what gifts the day would bring. 

Tosh had arrived early - or maybe it was that Ianto was running late - but she made a big production of going to the Medbay so Ianto would know he could deposit his gift. 

When she came back she saw the gift and clasped her hands together. “Oooh! I can’t wait to see what this is!” she said. 

She opened the wrapping to reveal some CDs. “Oh my goodness!! Language learning CDs that I can listen to whilst I’m coding Rift movements! Oh how thoughtful! I’m always saying I don’t have time to learn Italian. I really lucked out on the Secret Santa draw!” 

She grinned at Ianto. He found it impossible to suppress a smile. 

Just then Owen grumbled in. 

“You’re here a bit early, Owen.” Jack remarked from the catwalk. 

Owen just grunted. He looked at the opened gift on Tosh’s workstation. “Oh is it the gifty thing today?” 

Ianto and Tosh nodded. 

“Yeah, I mean, I knew that!” 

Owen disappeared to the MedBay. 

“What the??” He called out several minutes later. And then, “Oh!!! It’s an auto-focuser for the Singularity Scalpel! This is going to make my life so much easier!” 

Tosh and Ianto grinned at each other. 

When Gwen came in, Ianto went to the kitchen to make her coffee. After he came down there was a gift on his processing table in the Archives. He scooped it up and went to the Hub to open it. 

Gwen was in the process of showing everyone her gift. It was an apron that read: “Working Nine to Wine” 

She was cackling, “This is so perfect!! Oh I can’t wait to show this to My Husband - he’ll howl!” 

“Why don’t you just call him Rhys, Gwen? We all know you’re married. We were there, remember?” Owen groused. 

Gwen ignored him. “Yani!! Open your gift!” 

Ianto made quick work of the wrapping so he could disappear down to the Archives again. “Oh would you look at this?” Again, mostly convincing. 

It was a package of napkins that read: “I Make Wine Disappear, What’s Your Superpower?” 

“Ha ha, that’s… that’s so... Clever, yeah.” 

At this point he was going to need the shitty ten pound wine she would inevitably give him as a final present to get through this gift exchange. 

“Oh, Jack, I think there might be something for you on this table.” Tosh said helpfully. 

“Oh! Why I didn’t even see that.” Jack excitedly tore open the inter-office mailer to UNIT that was on the table. 

“Oh what a cute?? Is it a screen cleaner?” 

It was the weird rodent-shaped plushy for cleaning a computer screen that had somehow showed up at the Hub. No one knew where it had come from. 

“Oh that’s just perfect, my screen is always getting dusty! What a thoughtful gift.” 

**************************

**The Big Gift Day**

Jack barely slept the night before the Big Gift exchange. After unsuccessfully trying to wear him out - but wearing himself out - Ianto gave up. 

“Jack, I need to get some sleep in case there’s Rift activity tomorrow.” 

“That’s okay sweetie, I’ll go up and read or something.” Jack kissed him softly and grabbed a book and headed up to his office. 

When Ianto woke in the morning he realized that Jack had abandoned his book and had taken to baking food for the Holiday lunch. No one realized Jack could bake but he was actually quite good at it. Insomnia did that to a person. 

Tosh was already there when Ianto came down to the Hub. She looked very nervous. 

“Big present day!” Ianto said to her.

“I know! Oh Y, I hope he likes it. I worked so hard on it!” 

“I’m sure he will, T! He loved your other gifts.” 

“He did?” Tosh’s smile was infectious. 

“Yup!” 

**************************** 

As they all gathered around the table in the boardroom. 

“Let’s do presents before food!!” Jack enthused. 

Ianto agreed because he worried Jack might die from excitement if they didn’t do the presents soon. 

“Oooh! Yani, you go first!!! Oh my god, you’re going to love it!!” Gwen trilled. 

“Sure.” Ianto was really anxious to get into that wine so he could sound more excited. 

He carefully opened the box which contained a bottle of very cheap wine and a t-shirt that read: “Someone Please Call 9 Wine Wine”. 

Now that didn’t even make sense, did she get this shirt from the States? 

“Oh that’s so clever!” Ianto tried, he really did. 

“I’m going to open mine next!” Gwen said, “I bet I know what it is!” 

She ripped open her package and pulled out a much more expensive bottle of wine and a t-shirt that read: “Today’s Forecast 99% Chance of Wine” 

“Oh. My. God!!! This is so brilliant!!! Oh Yani, are you my Secret Santa??” 

“Sadly, I am not.” Ianto said. 

“It’s me!!” Jack hooted with excitement. 

“Oh Jack!!! You know me so well! Oh these were the best gifts ever! So personal! Thank you.” 

Jack beamed. 

“Tosh, open yours next!” Jack said with even more excitement.

Tosh carefully opened the immaculately wrapped package to reveal a Japanese tea set and some very high quality Jasmine tea. Ianto had seen it the last time he and Jack were in London for UNIT meetings and had had to buy it for Tosh right away. 

“Oh!! This is so wonderful!! Oh it’s my favourite colour too!! It’s you, Ianto, isn’t it?” She smiled at him.

“It is!” Ianto looked at her with complete brotherly affection. 

“Well I guess I should go.” Owen grumbled. 

Everyone watched as he tore the paper away to reveal a piece of tech. 

“Well I know my Secret Santa is Tosh, but I have no idea what this does?” 

“It’s a Tool Finder! I’ve encoded all of your medical tools and things in your Medbay into the system and so if you ever lose anything, you just use the Tool Finder!” Tosh was ridiculously proud of her invention. 

“But what if I lose the Tool Finder?” Owen snarked.

“Oh.” Tosh looked a little crestfallen. Ianto wanted to murder Owen. 

“Well, it’s plenty big and I see you put a handle with a loop on it. I’ll just put a hook in the Medbay and hang it there. It’ll never go missing! This is a really wonderful and thoughtful gift, Tosh. I’m so humbled that you thought of me.” 

Owen had actually said something sincere and was looking at Tosh with sparkling eyes. “Is this a holiday miracle?” Ianto wondered to himself. 

“And my gift!!!” Jack opened the small envelope that was in front of him. “Why, it’s… a ticket to the London Eye!” 

“I got a buddy who works there that owes me a favour. He said you can ride to the top and then he’ll stop it and you can stand on the top. I know you like standing on buildings.” 

“Oh Owen!! It’s perfect!!” 

After that everyone happily talked and ate the wonderful cakes and meat pies that Jack had made. Ianto looked around at his coworkers who were really his friends, or if he was honest, his family. He started to see what Jack liked about the holidays.

Later as Gwen scurried home to Rhys and Owen and Tosh seemed to be planning to take the holiday party to a second location, Jack, who was now wearing the “Nine Wine Wine” shirt, wound an arm around Ianto’s waist and kissed his shoulder through his shirt. 

“I’ve got a present for you waiting in my bunker.” 

Ianto laughed. “Oh you do, do you?” 

“Oh I didn’t mean it that way. But I was assuming we would have sex also.” Jack laughed. 

They made their way to the bunker. 

“Here.” Jack said with worried expectation on his face as he handed Ianto a small box. “I hope you like it.” 

Ianto opened the box to reveal a stopwatch. “Oh Jack!!! It’s gorgeous! And my old one wasn’t working as well. I think I wore out the buttons.” 

“Turn it over,” Jack urged, “There’s an inscription.” He looked even more nervous. 

Ianto turned the stopwatch over. It read: “JH <3s IJ Forever” 

“Oh Jack!” Ianto couldn’t hold back the tears in his eyes. “Oh, I love it. And I love you.” 

“I love you too, my sweet Welshman.” 

Jack moved in and kissed him slowly. It was a kiss that said every word that Ianto had wanted to hear from him. 

As they broke the kiss, Ianto said, “But I also have something for you.” 

Jack looked like an excited puppy as Ianto handed him a small box. Jack opened it and gasped. “Is it a new one?” 

“No, it’s your old one. The one you’re wearing is a clever fake that Tosh helped me make. But it’s not just your original one. Tosh and I fixed it! Now you can travel in time and space! Just don’t tell the Doctor. And don’t cross your own timeline!” 

“Oh Ianto!!! This means…. This means so much. It’s not just that you got it fixed. It’s that you trusted me enough to know that I wouldn’t use it to run away. Because you do know that, right? I’m never running. I am going to stay right here with you. And if I leave Earth. I’m taking you with me. In fact… How do you feel about a little holiday trip? I know a really good Life Day party!” 

“Okay Jack.” Ianto smiled and snuggled into Jack. “You know that I’ll go anywhere with you.” 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you liked my schmoopy fic! I would love to hear what you think! Kudos and especially comments make a great holiday gift! 
> 
> I really don't hate Gwen but I needed two characters to be really bad at gift giving so I played it up a little with her. 
> 
> Also, Life Day is a winter celebration for Wookies so I guess I just wrote Torchwood and Star Wars into the same universe?


End file.
